


Dangan Ronpa Sorting Ceremony

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Hogwarts House Sorting, I'm mostly writing this for me, No Plot/Plotless, Personified versions of the Hogwarts Houses, but I hope others will like it too, writing experiment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-01-15 19:19:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18505411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's time for all the main characters in Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc to go to Hogwarts! Instead of focusing on the fun stuff they get up to during the school year, this fic is gonna entirely focus on what's going on inside the sorting hat's head when it had to sort these crazy characters.This fic is more or less me trying to justify my habit of putting way too much thought into what house characters would be sorted into.





	1. Aoi Asahina and Junko Enoshima

Sorting #1: Aoi Asahina

Ravenclaw: Alright, I’m not even going to try for this one. You guys go for it.

Hufflepuff: That’s not how this works! All of us need to make a case for our house in order for this to be fair.

Slytherin: I’m out, too.

Hufflepuff: What!? Come on!

Slytherin: You can’t honestly expect either of us to want an airhead like that in our house. Name one cunning or intelligent thing she did the entire game.

Gryffindor: I’m not about to make a case for Slytherin for you. That’s your job.

Ravenclaw: To be fair, she did try to sabotage the 4th trial. That’s kind of Slytherin-ish.

Slytherin: More like she put way too much trust in a random note and impulsively went to get justice. Sounds like a Gryffinpuff decision to me.

Ravenclaw: I agree. I just wanted to play devil’s advocate.

Hufflepuff: As for Ravenclaw, there’s more to you guys than intelligence. There’s also individuality. That kinda fits.

Ravenclaw: Maybe, but she’s far from an independent thinker. She’s way to easily swayed by other people in the trials.

Slytherin: Plus, she doesn’t hit any of the other main traits. Well, I guess she can have acceptance, but Hufflepuff's also got that covered.

Gryffindor: *Sigh* Alright, Puffy, looks like this is between you and me.

Hufflepuff: Fair enough. I actually really want her to be in my house anyway. She’d be such a cute little puff.

Gryffindor: Well, I’m not gonna give up that easy. I’ve got a few cards up my sleeves. First, just look at that outfit. If that’s not the true Gryffindor aesthetic, I don’t know what is.

Ravenclaw: Objection. We are not about to start sorting people based on outfits.

Hufflepuff: She’s also wearing a yellow tie in the anime thing.

Gryffindor: I thought it was green.

Slytherin: Hold on. *types into google* Wiki says green.

Hufflepuff: Oh…

Ravenclaw: Doesn’t matter. We’re here to talk about personality traits, not character design.

Gryffindor: Like I said, that was just the first point. Point number two: She’s a sporty gal. We Gryffs love a sporty gal.

Hufflepuff: Okay, I’ll give you that one. But still, she’s nice, friendly, and very loyal to her fellow classmates.

Slytherin: Loyal up until she tries to kill them all.

Hufflepuff: And then she's back to being loyal after that, but I guess you have a fair point. Still, she was motivated mostly by her loyalty to Sakura.

Ravenclaw: Loyalty to one person causing someone to almost kill a bunch of people is not a Hufflepuff kind of loyalty. It’s a Slytherin kind of loyalty.

Slytherin: No Slytherin would’ve trusted that note at face value.

Hufflepuff: She was grieving, okay? I’ll cut her some slack.

Gryffindor: Yeah, I don’t think we should look at that chapter too closely when if comes to sorting.

Hufflepuff: Let’s look at chapter one instead, where she sneaks off to cuddle with Sakura in the middle of the night cause she’s scared.

Gryffindor: Okay, but-

Hufflepuff: Or that one time she was so distraught about the deaths of her friends that she left to go get comfort food before getting scared away by the “ghost” of Chihiro.

Ravenclaw: You really came prepared.

Hufflepuff: What can I say? I’m passionate.

Gryffindor: Alright, let’s look at it this way. Which house would she rather be in: the house of the brave or the house of loyalty?

Slytherin: She’d probably want to be in the house next to the kitchen so she can get doughnuts whenever she wants.

Gryffindor: ...Fine, Hufflepuff wins.

Hufflepuff: Yay!

 

Sorting #2: Junko Enoshima

Hufflepuff: New rule: No more refusing to participate. We all need to at least try to make a case for our house. And no, Slytherin, manipulating someone else into making an argument for you doesn’t count.

Slytherin: Alright, go ahead then. The floor is yours. Explain to us why the main villain of the series deserves to be in Hufflepuff of all places.

Gryffindor: No need to be rude, Snakey.

Ravenclaw: Maybe someone else should go first, given that Hufflepuff will likely be the hardest sell here.

Hufflepuff: Never let it be said that a Hufflepuff isn’t willing to put in the work. Just… give me a second.

Slytherin: I swear to whatever god wizards pray to, if Junko’s a hat-stall purely because Hufflepuff insists on going first, I quit. I’m moving my house to Beauxbatons.

Hufflepuff: Technically, Junko’s main motivation for the tragedy was causing herself despair. That means she feels the most amount of despair when others are in despair.

Gryffindor: Is the word despair losing its meaning to anyone else?

Hufflepuff: Therefore, if you think about it, putting her in my house isn’t that much of a stretch.

Ravenclaw: So, purposefully ending the world and killing a lot of people is a Hufflepuff thing to do as long as you feel bad about it?

Slytherin: She doesn’t even feel bad. It just makes her feel.. bad… You know what I mean.

Ravenclaw: It doesn’t make her feel guilty.

Slytherin: Yeah, that’s it.

Hufflepuff: I never said your argument had to be good.

Gryffindor: Alright, my turn… Okay, the only thing I can think of is that she’s very emotionally driven and kinda impulsive.

Ravenclaw: I’d say Mukuro’s portrayal of Junko in the beginning of the first game is probably Gryffindor, but other than that, I think you’re out.

Gryffindor: Fair enough. Who’s next?

Slytherin: I think we can all agree that she’s pretty cunning and manipulative. Even though she did cheat and use that brainwashing video to make people go all despair-hungry, she still made Ryota make it. Plus, look at how fast she can change her personality in final cases of the first two games. That’s some good acting, and we all know acting is the Slytherin of the arts.

Ravenclaw: Nice case. I don’t think we have any objections to the points you made.

*Silence*

Hufflepuff: Awesome! Let’s hear Ravenclaw out and then decide.

Ravenclaw: I hope no one minds if I go on the defense a bit first. Yes, Junko is pretty cunning, but is she ambitions?

Gryffindor: Okay, I hate ending the world just as much as the next person, but that’s pretty ambitious.

Ravenclaw: Yeah, but her ambition is ultimate self-destruction, which directly contradicts the Slytherin trait of self-preservation. Meanwhile, let’s look at her talent. She’s analytical. Analytical to the point where everything is boring to her. Sure, she tries to end the world for the sake of despair, but boredom is what makes her want despair in the first place. I also hate ending the world, but if there’s ever a Ravenclaw-esk reason to do it, it’s that.

Gryffindor: Cool, I’m sold. She’d probably like being in Ravenclaw anyway. Slytherin’s too predictable.

Slytherin: Wait, shouldn’t I get a chance to counter?

Hufflepuff: Go for it.

Slytherin: You can’t shut me down because she doesn’t have some of my traits and then say she fits into your house because she has one of yours. What about creativity?

Ravenclaw: All those executions are nothing if not creative.

Gryffindor: If I were you, Snakey, I’d jump at the chance to sort a villain into something other than your house.

Slytherin: True… Alright, I give in. Ravenclaw it is.


	2. Chihiro Fujisaki and Toko Fukawa

Sorting 3: Chihiro Fujisaki 

Ravenclaw: I know that we agreed to all make arguments, but I honestly believe her... his...

Hufflepuff: Let’s just be as inoffensive as possible and go with the pronouns used on the Wiki.

Ravenclaw: His talent automatically makes it hard to argue against Ravenclaw. Creating a literal AI takes intelligence, creativity, and wisdom. His initial discovery of his talent came from curiosity, which is a Gryffinclaw trait, leaning more towards Ravenclaw.

Slytherin: You make some good points, but I still don’t think he’s unarguably Ravenclaw. As a matter of fact, this is the first person we’ve sorted here that could probably fit into any house.

Gryffindor: Which is where I come in. Yeah, he’s smart, he’s creative, but he only started doing computer things because he was too weak to do sporty things. That’s what he really wanted to do.

Hufflepuff: This is the second time your argument for Gryffindor involved sports. I know you’re not trying to, but you’re kinda spreading false stereotypes about your own house.

Gryffindor: Right, I’ll move on then. More than anything, he wants to be brave.

Ravenclaw: More like he wants to fit old gender norms enforced by a male-dominated society.

Slytherin: Oh no, politics…

Gryffindor: Isn’t politics supposed to be where your house shines?

Slytherin: That and law, yes, but that doesn’t mean I want to talk about it all the time.

Ravenclaw: It’s not politics, it’s common sense. He was raised to believe that all men should be stereotypically masculine, so he desired to be stereotypically masculine.

Gryffindor: My point is that we shouldn’t focus on how he is, but how he wants to be. He wants to be brave. He also in the game can be chivalrous. Just look at how chivalrous he was to that mosquito in his free time events.

Slytherin: So letting a mosquito drink your blood is chivalrous now?

Gryffindor: I’m the judge of that, aren’t I?

Hufflepuff: Okay, we’ve spent too much time on Gryffindor. Slytherin, you wanna go next?

Slytherin: Yeah, I want to go back to Ravenclaw’s point about programming. I agree that it’s pretty Ravenclaw, but it’s also very Slytherin. Intelligence in this context could also be seen as cunning. Creativity could be resourcefulness.

Ravenclaw: I still think the Ravenclaw terms fit more. I also really don’t think many other Slytherin traits work here. Can you really look me in the eyes and describe Chihiro as a good leader or keen on self-preservation? How about ambition?

Slytherin: No, of course not. I’d welcome him into my house anytime, assuming he drops his “but what if the mosquito’s hungry” thing first, but he’d be better off in any other house.

Hufflepuff: My turn!

Slytherin: Someone’s enthusiastic...

Hufflepuff: Just look at this personified marshmallow. He couldn’t hurt a fly, possibly literally. Just look at how hard he was willing to work to get stronger. Sure, he had a Gryffindor-ish motivation, but a Hufflepuff’s approach to problem solving. And, let’s not forget that he was one of the few people that was willing to reveal their secret in the second chapter. That takes a lot of trust and loyalty.

Gryffindor: And bravery.

Hufflepuff: That’s… a fair point, actually. We also have no real way of knowing if his vulnerability, overly-niceness was an act or not. I’m sure some of it was real to some extent, but how much was just him acting stereotypically feminine to fit his new identity?

Ravenclaw: Are your arguing against yourself?

Gryffindor: What a Hufflepuff…

Slytherin: That’s because they’re the personification of the house, and why’d you say that as an insult?

Gryffindor: Why’d you hear it as an insult?

Hufflepuff: Okay, enough. Can we please try to keep it peaceful here?

Ravenclaw: Do we all agree that there’s more evidence for Ravenclaw and Gryffindor than there is for Hufflepuff?

*Everyone nods*

Hufflepuff: Okay then. Gryffindor VS Ravenclaw. Discuss.

Slytherin: My vote’s Ravenclaw.

Gryffindor: Of course it is…

Slytherin: I’m not being petty. They made a better argument.

Ravenclaw: I think right now the argument is less what house fits better and more what’s the best way to sort. I argued based on how he is right now and Gryffindor argued based on what he values and what he wants to be.

Hufflepuff: Looking at the books, you can argue both ways. The hat wanted to sort Harry into Slytherin but didn’t because he asked not to be. Wormtail got into Gryffindor despite not having any Gryffindor traits. However, Neville wanted to be in Hufflepuff, but got into Gryffindor anyway.

Slytherin: I’m noticing a pattern…

Gryffindor: Even with Neville, it wasn’t that he wanted to be in Hufflepuff or didn’t want to be in Gryffindor. He didn’t think he deserved to be in Gryffindor because he wasn’t what’s normally considered brave. Isn’t Chihiro the same way?

Ravenclaw: Deciding to reveal his secret in Chapter 2 was rather brave and honorable…There are a lot of Gryffindors in the books that have a lot of Ravenclaw traits but don’t truly value them, like Hermione and Lupin. That might just be what this is.

Slytherin: Are we really sorting the spineless coward that let everyone walk over him, including a mosquito, into Gryffindor?

Gryffindor: Weren’t you the one saying he’d fit into any house?

Slytherin: Yeah, but I didn’t think it’d actually happen like this. My money was on Ravenclaw the whole time.

Gryffindor: He’s a Gryffindor with strong Ravenclaw tendencies, Hufflepuff appearance, and a hint of Slytherin somewhere, but still a Gryffindor at heart.

Hufflepuff: Agreed!

 

Sorting #4: Toko Fukawa 

Gryffindor: So… I really don’t know how to make a case for Gryffindor here.

Slytherin: You can’t make a case or you don’t want to.?

Gryffindor: Both? I’m not really a fan of her, but even if I was, she’s the exact opposite of most Gryffs. She a submissive, pessimistic, and afraid of lots of stupid things, including but not limited to taking a bath.

Hufflepuff: She had a bad childhood. Cut her some slack.

Ravenclaw: Even so, I don’t think she has enough Gryffindor in her to justify making an exception.

Slytherin: The closest she ever comes to chivalry is calling Byakuya a knight, and her reasons for doing so are far from honorable.

Hufflepuff: So, Gryffindor’s out. Anyone wanna go next?

Gryffindor: I’m honestly hyped to hear Puffy’s argument for Hufflepuff.

Hufflepuff: First of all, volunteering someone else is rude. Second… She’s very dedicated to her writing. She worries a lot in Ultra Despair Girls that if her life becomes too happy she won’t write as well. She’s willing to give up her own happiness. She’s also pretty loyal to Byakuya and, eventually, Komaru. She even trusted Byakuya to keep her DID secret.

Slytherin: Speaking of that, are we planning on talking about-

Ravenclaw: Later.

Gryffindor: Well, as I have just proven, Hufflepuffs tend to be kinda submissive, so that’s another point over there.

Ravenclaw: A fine case, but I think Slytherin and I have a better chance. Would you like to go first?

Slytherin: Yeah, sure. Her dedication to her writing could easily be interpreted as determination. This trait also shows itself in Ultra Despair Girls whenever she gets mad at Komaru for giving up. She also has a lot of ambition, even if that ambition is marrying Byakuya. Extreme loyalty to one person could also be seen as a Slytherin tendency, even if it isn’t an official trait.

Gryffindor: Yeah, just look at Death Eaters.

Slytherin: I don’t like associating my house directly with them, but yes, there is a clear similarity. She can also be pretty self-preserving. That is, when she isn’t being a clear masochist.

Hufflepuff: I think she’s probably the most Slytherin person so far. Still, even if though she’s dedicated to her work, which is kinda Slytherpuff, her work is writing.

Ravenclaw: Our first artist. While different art-forms can fit into different houses, creativity and originality as a whole is Ravenclaw. She specifically writes about something she knows nothing about from real life experiences, which means research. Her sense of humor is very witty, too.

Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw is also a house for misfits and outsiders. People with a lot of Individuality.

Slytherin: Okay, sure, but she a total group thinker when it comes to class trials. She’s as quick to go along with the majority’s opinion as Hina is. Does that sound like a Ravenclaw to you?

Ravenclaw: Does that sound like a Slytherin you you?

Slytherin: I can let it slide, but I know you won’t.

Gryffindor: I don’t see anything wrong with putting her in Slytherin.

Ravenclaw: I agree.

Hufflepuff: Wow, this was our fastest sorting yet. Well done!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, I didn't include all four houses in the first 2 chapters on purpose. I'm doing this based on alphabetical order of last names. This was just a coincidence. I actually thought Toko was going to be Ravenclaw until I started writing out the arguments. Next up is Yasuhiro Hagakure and Kiyotaka Ishimaru. See you in a few days!


	3. Yasuhiro Hagakure and Kiyotaka Ishimaru

Sorting #5: Yasuhiro Hagakure 

Gryffindor: Okay, someone call the wizard cops and get this muggle out of here.

Hufflepuff: No, Gryffindor. Bad. We need to sort him.

Gryffindor: I refuse to accept this trash character into my school.

Slytherin: Welp, looks like this guy isn’t getting to Gryffindor whether he fits or not.

Ravenclaw: He really doesn’t work there anyway. I’m not surprised Gryffindor hates the poor guy.

Gryffindor: He’s a dirty coward. Even worse than Toko. At least she gets better in Ultra Despair Girls. All he gets is a Manga thing where his main motivation is paying off a debt.

Slytherin: To be fair to Hiro, he does get better as that story goes on.

Hufflepuff: Gryffindor, you can sit the rest of this out if you want. Just... Don’t call any more people trash.

Gryffindor: Fine. Thanks, Puffy.

Hufflepuff: With that settled, I’ll go next… Hmmm... Well, he can probably be patient… He’s dedicated to his talent… kinda… maybe… That’s all I’ve got.

Ravenclaw: I mean, he’s nice to his friends.

Slytherin: He tries to guilt trip Makoto into selling his organs to pay off his debt.

Ravenclaw: He’s concerned for them in the anime.

Slytherin: Wow, he must be a true Hufflepuff to be concerned about his friends of multiple years being in trouble.

Hufflepuff: My house probably isn’t the best place for him. He has no real loyalties to anyone.

Ravenclaw: He has no place in Ravenclaw, either. Sure, some of the predictions he comes up with are creative, and he’s very original in the most basic sense of the word, but besides that he’s got nothing.

Gryffindor: I wouldn’t even give him that much credit when it comes to creativity. He predicted the bad end in his free time events. He probably has some kinda power that’s telling him this stuff.

Slytherin: I thought you were sitting this one out?

Gryffindor: Shut up. You tried to do the same thing in our first sorting.

Hufflepuff: Play nice, you two. Now, the only one left is Slytherin. What are your thoughts?

Slytherin: Well, he certainly looks out for himself. He’s pretty determined to get everyone he meets to spend thousands of dollars on his fortunes, his methods including but not limited to giving Makoto his fortune and then demanding he pay him back later. He might be bad at it, but he uses a lot of manipulation tactics. I’m willing to interpret that as cunning.

Ravenclaw: So, Slytherin it is then?

Hufflepuff: Seems like it.

 

Sorting #6: Kiyotaka Ishimaru 

Hufflepuff: I think we might have another Chihiro thing here.

Slytherin: He’s one of Mondo’s secret boyfriends?

Gryffindor: Lot’s of fans headcanon him as on the autism spectrum?

Ravenclaw: He can fit in all four houses?

Hufflepuff: All three work, but I was talking about the last one.

Gryffindor: Yeah, for a hall monitor dude, this guy is very hot-headed and emotional. I love it. He might be a crybaby, but he’s one brave crybaby. He’ll stand up to anyone and anything if he thinks they’re doing something wrong. He’s also by far the most chivalrous guy in the game.

Ravenclaw: He certainly shouts a lot, and we all know that Gryffindor is the house of shouting at annoying and unnecessarily times.

Slytherin: Woah. I honestly can’t tell if you don’t like Taka or you just have a very sudden vendetta against Gryffindor. Is it because they stole Chihiro from you?

Ravenclaw: They didn’t steal anything from me, and I don’t necessarily dislike either of them.

Gryffindor: Thanks…

Ravenclaw: I’m just not a huge fan of this character. I doubt he’d like me either.

Hufflepuff: So you don’t think he fits in Ravenclaw?

Ravenclaw: Sure, he fits just fine. He’s smart, embrasses individuality, accepts everyone, but…

Slytherin: He hates being called a genius with a burning passion.

Ravenclaw: Right.

Gryffindor: I don’t think anyone can argue against not putting someone in a house they would feel insulted to be in.

Slytherin: It’s not that he hates smart people. He just doesn’t value innate intelligence nearly as much as he values dedication and hard work.

Hufflepuff: Which is the most Hufflepuff thing of all Hufflepuff things. And that’s not all. He’s fair, nice to everyone (well, at least he tries to be), modest, and very loyal. As much as I dislike negative Hufflepuff stereotypes, I can’t deny that many Hufflepuffs are pretty naive. What else would you call literally asking the blackened to raise their hand in the beginning of the first trial? He’s also somehow expected he’d be able to get everyone to read their secrets to everyone in the second chapter.

Gryffindor: How brave of him to be willing to share his secret… *wink* *wink*

Ravenclaw: We don’t even know if his secret was anything that bad. It could have been something he didn’t worry too much about.

Slytherin: It was probably about his grandfather.

Hufflepuff: Speaking of which, how does Slytherin here feel about our boy hating his grandfather the politician.

Slytherin: I’m sorry, do you have a vendetta against everyone that hates gardening?

Gryffindor: Oh, Snakey apologized!

Slytherin: That’s not… whatever. The point is, his grandfather was a bad politician, anyway. Taka can hate him as much as he wants. I don’t care about that. I care about his leadership. He takes control every change he gets. He’s ambitious, determined-

Ravenclaw: A very bad leader. Almost no one ever listens to him.

Hufflepuff: They went to the morning meetings.

Ravenclaw: About half the class was late every single day. He could fit in Slytherin just fine, but Gryffindor and Hufflepuff both make more sense.

Gryffindor: With all the evidence we have, I would be willing to let Puffy take the win, but I have one problem. Taka is about the least patient person in the entire series. Even Monokuma let’s it slide when Kyoko was late one time. Taka would have had her head on a stick.

Hufflepuff: First, my sweet child would never do something so violent. Second, there are different kinds of patience. He gets upset when someone is supposed to be faster but isn’t. I can guarantee you that if he were tutoring someone, he’d be more than will to spend 30 minutes on one problem if the student needed it.

Slytherin: He’d also totally be that teacher that’d never give anyone the answer, just ask a bunch of questions until the student figured it out themselves even if they’d been at it for way to long and the answer’s obvious.

Gryffindor: What a Hufflepuff… Alright, you win this time Puffy.

Hufflepuff: Wait, don’t you want to make a final case?

Gryffindor: And say what? This is the most Hufflepuff guy ever. All he needs is a Unicorn hair wand core and he’d be set.

Ravenclaw: They know they have plenty of great Gryffindors coming soon.

Slytherin: Can’t wait...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taka is one of my favorite characters in the series. When sorting characters I really like, I sometimes find myself trying to force them into my house, which is Hufflepuff. If you feel my reasoning for sorting Taka was poor, I'm sorry.
> 
> Anyway, next up is Genocide Jack and Kyoko Kirigiri! See you then!


	4. Genocide Jack and Kyoko Kirigiri

Sorting #7: Genocide Jack

Hufflepuff : Can we all agree that the game’s portrayal of Dissociative Identity Disorder was awful?

Slytherin : Of course, but I don’t think there has ever been any good representation of it in any media.

Gryffindor : Doesn’t change the fact that it was complete trash.

Ravenclaw : I almost couldn’t beat the Hangman’s Gambit where I had to describe Toko as “schizo”. That’s already derogatory, and they aren’t even using it to describe the right disorder.

Hufflepuff : Right, just making sure we’re all on the same page. Moving on, I’m not sure how I feel about sorting a character with a personality entirely centered around killing people.

Slytherin : Yeah, there’s pretty much no reason for you to be here. There are canonically no evil Hufflepuffs.

Ravenclaw : I don’t know if I’d describe her as evil. Maybe insane, but that’s purely a legal term and not a proper diagnosis. I certainly can’t imagine her following Voldemort or something of that sort.

Gryffindor : Alright, Birdo, why don’t we stop talking about what she isn’t and focus on what she is, which is the best character in the game.

Slytherin : What an unexpected hot take.

Gryffindor : Yeah, I know that there are objectively better written characters, but come on! She brings so much energy to the game! She’s fun, wild, hilarious, and-

Hufflepuff : None of those are necessarily Gryffindor traits. Any house can be any of those things.

Gryffindor : Right, right. I was getting to that. She is very emotional and impulsive. She pretty much never shows fear, and, as she makes very clear in chapter 2, she never kills girls. That’s kinda chivalrous.

Slytherin : Wow, that’s a low bar.

Ravenclaw : As far as the sensing-intuition spectrum goes on the Myers-Briggs personality test, she is about as far on the intuition side as possible. I don’t think I could possible make an argument for my house. I can’t even give her points for creativity since she does the same thing with the corpse every time.

Slytherin : Leave it to Ravenclaw to complain about a serial killer not being creative enough with her crime scene.

Hufflepuff : I’ll go next.

Gryffindor : I thought we said you weren’t gonna go.

Hufflepuff : Ravenclaw explained that she’s not evil, and even then I should try and make a case anyway.

Ravenclaw : The floor is yours.

Hufflepuff : Thanks! First off, she is very dedicated to her killing. It’s pretty much all she ever talks about, besides Byakuya of course. Speaking of which, she becomes kinda loyal to him and, to a lesser extent, Komaru.

Slytherin : So, in other words, she’s really into something Hufflepuffs typically hate and loyal to two different people. Not gonna beat Gryffindor with that. I don’t really have much either. She’s not resourceful, her only ambition is killing as many people as possible, and has no leadership skills.

Ravenclaw : So, are we going with Gryffindor by default?

Hufflepuff : I wouldn’t put it like that, but yeah.

Gryffindor : Yes! I win!

 

Sorting #8: Kyoko Kirigiri

Slytherin : Interesting how we’re going from a pure Gryffindor to the least Gryffindor character in the game.

Gryffindor : I don’t think you can really say that when characters like Hiro exist, but whatever. Be that way.

Slytherin : Fine, let’s hear how the emotionless detective fits into the house of extroversion and impulsiveness.

Hufflepuff : Someone’s bitter about something…

Ravenclaw : I’m fairly certain they just really wants Kyoko and is trying to knock out easy competition.

Gryffindor : First, she isn’t emotionless. She just hides her emotions. She doesn’t show fear in the face of murder-bear Monokuma. She can also get pretty emotional when her dad’s mentioned. Can be kinda… impulsive.

Hufflepuff : I like the pause for effect.

Slytherin : I don’t like how you used strong ties to family and tradition as an argument for you house when it works way better with mine.

Ravenclaw : They didn’t even mention tradition, but continue.

Slytherin : Remember when she used that trick where you color in a page on a notepad to see what the last note said? Very resourceful. She’s always determined to find the truth. She’s also a very clever girl.

Ravenclaw : Slytherin clever or Ravenclaw clever? Looking at the legal system, Gryffindors are the police force, Slytherins are the lawyers, Hufflepuffs are the judges/jury, and Ravenclaws are the detectives. Smart, making creative connections to things, remaining unbiased until all data is collected. She is the ultimate detective, which makes her the ultimate Ravenclaw.

Hufflepuff : I agree with most of what you said, but we can’t sort based on talent alone. If we did, Hina would be a Gryffindor, Chihiro would be a Ravenclaw, and Jack would kicked out of Hogwarts immediately.

Ravenclaw : Sure, but unlike those characters, Kyoko lives and breathes her job. She never leaves her detective mindset. Everything is a mystery to be solved.

Gryffindor : Fine, looks like it’s between the brainy houses again. Puffy, you wanna take a shot before these two kick us to the sidelines yet again?

Hufflepuff : You’re definitely exaggerating the amount of times that happened, but sure. Kyoko willingly goes down a garbage shoot in order to save her friend. If that isn’t loyalty, I don’t know what is. She’s also way more friendly in the anime.

Slytherin : Yeah, but she takes a while to get there and still doesn’t really make any of the other criteria for your house.

Hufflepuff : True. Alright, brains VS brains!

Slytherin : While I will give you that detectives are inherently very Ravenclaw, she’s only a detective because of her family. Again, family tradition is very valued among Slytherins.

Ravenclaw : Fine, but what about other Slytherin traits? She’s far from a natural leader and doesn’t really have much ambition. She’s far too independent to be anything but a Ravenclaw.

Slytherin : Fine, but I better get another Slytherin soon. Especially since both of mine so far were either sorted here by default or a very close call with Ravenclaw.

Hufflepuff : Don’t worry, we have some very Slytherin-y characters coming up. Just be patient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for not updating for so long. This is gonna sound like a terrible excuse, but I'm a huge Marvel fan and Endgame totally destroyed me. From this point forward, I'm gonna try to not go more than a week without updating. Wish me luck.  
> Next up are Leon Kuwata and Celestia Ludenburg.


	5. Leon Kuwata and Celestia Ludenberg

Sorting #8: Leon Kuwata

Gryffindor : Okay, I can’t be the only one who finds it weird that we’re halfway through the main characters and this is the first killer we’ve had to sort.

Slytherin : You know, besides the serial killer from 2 sortings ago.

Hufflepuff : I think they meant he’s the first blackened.

Ravenclaw : It isn’t odd at all. This game has the largest group of survivors and half the trials didn’t have a proper culprit.

Hufflepuff : The real odd part is that we have 2 blackeneds back to back.

Slytherin : Alright, that’s great, but can be get to the sorting now?

Gryffindor : And they say my house is impatient…

Hufflepuff : There’s actually something I wanna talk about first. In the manga, they change certain things about Sayaka’s death to humanize Leon more. Nothing in the game says it didn’t happen the way in happened there, so are we counting it?

Ravenclaw : I don’t think that’s a good idea. Leon would have said he was only breaking in to help Sayaka calm down if that were actually the case in the game’s canon. He did not. Instead, he tried to claim self defense.

Slytherin : Shame. That would’ve made Hufflepuff’s job way easier.

Gryffindor : Why do you care? That’s not your house.

Slytherin : Well, I don’t want this idiot. Like Ravenclaw said, he tried to claim self defense when he literally went all they way to his room to get his tools before coming back to break down the bathroom door. Even Hina was more cunning than that. This man-

Hufflepuff : Um, sorry to but in, but I just want to remind you that we’re all supposed to make a case for our house. You’re doing the exact opposite.

Slytherin : *Sign* Fine. I guess you could say he’s determined. He went out of his way to get the tools to kill Sayaka. His claim of self defense, while stupid, show some self-pressurization. Still, the man has no real ambition. He only played baseball cause he happened to be good and got into music to impress a random girl he liked.

Hufflepuff : See? I knew you could find something.

Gryffindor : My turn. Leon’s athletic, daring, passionate, and hot-blooded. He’s a very James Potter type of Gryff, which is the best kind. I can totally imagine James starting a music career to get Lily’s attention.

Ravenclaw : He is also one to jump to conclusions. During his Free Time Events, he falsely believes Makoto is only spending time with him to kill him. I don’t mean to sort based on stereotypes, but forming conclusions like that is more Gryffindor than anything else.

Slytherin : So, what you’re trying to say is he’s definitely not a Ravenclaw.

Ravenclaw : Certainly not. The most I can give him is individuality. He’s walking his own path in life. Even so, he really just goes with the flow and does what he believes is easy. 

Hufflepuff : That’s also why I don’t think Hufflepuff works here. That and it’s hard to call a killer loyal.

Gryffindor : Okay, I don’t think you can say he doesn’t fit in Hufflepuff cause he killed someone. We can’t knock out an entire house right off the bat for every blackened.

Ravenclaw : I don’t think that’s what they meant. He really just lacks most Hufflepuff traits in general.

Hufflepuff : I suppose he was very nice to his cousin, Kanon. Even with that, family relations are more of a Slytherin thing.

Slytherin : I still don’t want this guy.

Gryffindor : Well, I do want this guy. He fits way better with me than you all.

Ravenclaw : I agree.

 

Sorting #9: Celestia Ludenberg

Slytherin : Oh, good. Another Slytherin. Finally

Hufflepuff : Um, we haven’t started talking yet.

Slytherin : Yeah, I know, but look at her! She has every single Slytherin trait. Cunning? Look at her master manipulation in the third trial. Ambitious? Everything she does is to help her reach her dream. What is her dream? To live in a European Castle surrounded my vampire servants. That is peak Slytherin aesthetic.

Gryffindor : Sounds more like My Immortal aesthetic, but whatever. Carry on, Ebony.

Slytherin : She might not be a good leader by our usual standards, but she knows how to make people obey. She has Hifumi wrapped around her figure immediately. This girl is on fire. I need her in my house and none of you can convince me you deserve her more.

Gryffindor : Wow, you need to chill. Even I let other people at least try to take my Genocide Jack.

Ravenclaw : You’re right that she fits Slytherin on the surface, but let’s look at her motivations. She, more than anything, doesn’t want to be boring. She wants to stand out. That’s very Ravenclaw.

Hufflepuff : So her Slytherin ways come from her Ravenclaw ways?

Slytherin : No, she’s a Slytherin through and through. Sure, her ambition is fueled by her individuality, but everything she does to reach her ambition is Slytherin. She manipulates other, looks out for herself, and does whatever it takes to get what she wants.

Ravenclaw : I agree. The only other argument I could make is that she’s very intelligent, but she only uses her brain for reaching her goals. She fits Slytherin much better than my house.

Slytherin : See? There we go. I win.

Hufflepuff : Gryffindor and I are still left. We can’t jump to conclusions.

Gryffindor : … As much as I really want to make a surprise really good argument so I can wipe Snakey’s smug grin off their face, I can’t really think of anything. I guess she lashes out emotionally sometimes, which I’ll admit my house is kinda known to do, but everything else she does is so calculated.

Hufflepuff : That’s alright. I have the same problem. She doesn’t have loyalties to anyone and her life’s goal involves having lots of servants to do things for her. She is the exact opposite of everything Hufflepuffs stand for. The most I can say is that she’s dedicated to her goals, but that’s not really a Hufflepuff kind of dedication.

Slytherin : So, she’s mine?

Ravenclaw : It looks that way

Slytherin : Yes!

Gryffindor : I can’t wait for the next sorting so you can go back to being sarcastic and acting like you don’t care about any of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter is done! Next up is Sayaka Maizono and Makoto Naegi.


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